


Take My Hand and Stay With Me My Dear

by weallfalldowneventually



Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Anyways, But everything ends well, It starts angsty, M/M, but i swear to you that it has a happy ending, but we die like men, ethans insecure, i love yall and thanks for always reading my stuff, its cute at the end, marks confused, oof, this is so not beta read, this was a spur of the moment thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:21:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23321623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weallfalldowneventually/pseuds/weallfalldowneventually
Summary: Ethan feels insecure and it causes a rift in the relationship. Mark doesn't understand what's going on.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 6
Kudos: 214





	Take My Hand and Stay With Me My Dear

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from the song "you broke my heart again" by Teqkoi and Aiko.
> 
> i swear to god it starts off angsty but it's cute and has a happy ending!! i promise!
> 
> i hope you enjoy this, it was a really spur of the moment kind of thing. 
> 
> i was watching ethan's livestream last night and he sang a bit of "slow dancing in the dark" by joji and this kinda sprung to mind. anywas, thanks again for reading and for any comments you might leave, it means the world to me!!

Mark notices that Ethan seems to be avoiding him. Which, is a pretty hard feat to do, considering they live together. He noticed it starting just a few days ago, Ethan giving him short answers and leaving the room whenever Mark popped up in it, but, unfortunately, it seems to have progressed. Ethan's started to get up early, just to avoid talking to him in the morning.

Which, that stings more than anything. He's always been the first to rise, Ethan being the last to sleep. He's always enjoyed those few extra minutes he got to look at Ethan's peaceful, resting face. It always made leaving bed hard, but it energized him just enough to get him going. 

Ethan was better than any coffee or energy drink Mark could get his hands on. Any time he looked at him, rather he be awake or sleeping, Mark got this rush of energy. The need to provide for Ethan driving him even further than he once pushed himself. 

Granted, he knew he didn't need to provide for him, Ethan did very well on his own, but that still didn't change how easily just seeing him affected Mark. 

Oh boy, did it affect him. The realization that Ethan was going out of his way to get up before him stung. Not seeing his beautiful face every morning was something that weighed heavily on him during the day.

Ethan claims it's only work-related, that he's been stressed lately, but he refuses to talk about it at all. Mark feels himself slowly breaking, fear driving the anger in him now as they fight in their bedroom.

"Ethan, please, Jesus Christ just talk to me!" Mark pleads, voice growing more frantic as Ethan continues to pace around. 

"I can't keep doing this Mark. I just can't."

"Ethan, for the love of God, doing what? Baby, I don't know what you're getting at."

"I think we need to break up."

"What?" It's like a slap to the face, a punch to the gut, it's the worst feeling he's ever felt. 

"I think it's time we ended things."

"Why? I don't understand."

"Just," he inhales sharply, finishing his sentence on his exhale, "because Mark." 

Mark opens and closes his mouth several times, brain desperately trying to process everything that's going on. "I just don't understand," he speaks softly, voice timid and so unlike himself. "Please help me understand. Did I do something wrong?"

He feels like begging, falling onto his knees in front of the other man and pleading for him to stay. His knees almost buckle, it's as of his body is a step ahead of him. He uses the bed frame to keep himself upright, leaning against it ever so slightly. 

"No, it's just," Ethan cuts himself off, voice starting to shake. Mark watches the way he closes his eyes, watches as tilts his head back, closed eyes skyward.

Numbly, Mark realizes Ethan's trying to stop himself from crying. 

"Ethan _please_ ," Mark barely whispers, his own voice breaking, much like his agonized heart. He can't bare to see the man he loves in such a state of pain. 

He watches the tears start to flow down Ethan's cheeks, and can't suppress his natural reaction to step forward. He presses towards Ethan, feet automatic in his movements. It's second nature to comfort Ethan, breathing and the need to protect Ethan taking precedent above all else. 

He reaches out, grasping gently onto Ethan's arms, light enough that he could still pull away if he truly wanted too. It brings a heart-wrenching sob bubbling up and out of Ethan's throat. His body shakes with the force of it, making Mark's own face crumple in defeat.

He pulls him into his chest, cradling him like he's the most precious thing in the world. 

Because to Mark, _he is_. 

His fingers stroke the hair at the nape of Ethan's neck as he continues to sob, only tightening the arm around Ethan's waist when he leans into him. 

"Baby," he whispers into the side of Ethan's head, voice wobbling with emotion, "What's wrong? Let me try to fix this, please?" Mark's a crumbling man, trying his hardest to catch his pieces before they scatter everywhere. 

This only makes the sobs harder, makes Ethan burrow closer into Mark as he completely comes undone. Through hiccuped sobs he manages to get out a few words. 

They utterly shatter Mark.

"Y-You can't fix it." He stutters out, muffled through where his mouth is pressed into Mark's neck. " _I'm_ the problem." 

"But, you're not a problem, sweetheart," Mark can only think to say, his mind not being able to process how Ethan could _ever_ view himself like that. 

He tries to keep his own voice steady, but he can't be faulted for the way it cracks. "You could never be a problem, my love. My absolute treasure. You're the farthest thing in my life from being a problem."

Ethan wails, fingers gripping tightly onto Mark's shirt. "You don't get it." He whispers, repeating it over and over again. A little guilt-filled mantra spilling out of him. 

"Then help me get it." He pleads, he's speaking softly and brokenly into Ethan's hair now, his fingers have stilled simply cradling his head. 

"Please, Ethan, help me understand." He's crying now, tears finally breaking through and rolling down his own cheeks. "I can't stand seeing you hurt like this."

Ethan continues to shake, voice as unsteady as he feels as he gets out all he's been feeling. 

"I can't do this to you anymore. I can't hold you back." He hiccups, breath stuttering. "I'm a nobody Mark. I'll only hold you back."

Mark is stunned into silence, unable to do or say anything as he hears Ethan weep his worries. 

"If the fans were to ever know we were dating they would freak out. I would drive them away." Ethan takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself as he goes on, only shaking slightly with every other stubborn sob. 

"I'm going to ruin your career, and you've worked so hard for it. You're at 25 million, I've _barely_ hit a million." Ethan breathes, still gripping tightly onto Mark, refusing to even look at him.

"I'm so grateful for the one million, and I'm so lucky, but your fans don't love me like they love Jack or Bob or Wade. Or any of the others." 

Mark pulls back, a sense of raw agony and _anger_ burning equally inside of him. 

"You're trying to ruin my life, to save my career?" It comes out harsher than he means, considering the situation. He sees the way Ethan flinches at the words, but he hopes that they stick.

"Damn it, Ethan, I could care less about the backlash. I love each and every one of my subscribers," Ethan opens his mouth to speak but Mark pushes forward, not letting him cut him off, "But for fucks sake, if they can't take me dating a dude, then I gotta say good riddance."

"You don't mean that."

"The fuck if I don't, Ethan!" Mark is almost maniac now, eyes wild and cheeks tear-stained. "I love you!" 

He let's go of him just long enough to cradle Ethan's face in both his hands, smoothing away the tear tracks. His thumbs swipe under his eyes, collecting the new tears springing forward. 

"I love you so damn much Ethan. It almost scares me some times." His heart beats hard against his ribcage, trying to make a desperate break for it. It always craves to be closer to Ethan's own. 

"I'd rather lose my career than live a day without you by my side." He speaks, maintaining eye contact with Ethan even when he tries to break it. 

"Please look at me." He begs, voice starting to crack again, "I don't know how I'd function without you. You're the love of my life and I could care less about what anyone could say." 

He presses his forehead against the others, "Your opinion, and the opinion of only my family and closest friends matter to me." 

He gives a soft chuckle, breath ghosting Ethan's pink lips, "And you're in luck, because my family and friends all absolutely and _wholeheartedly_ love you."

Ethan let's out a watery laugh, eyes closing as another stray tear makes its getaway. 

"So, please," and here his voice breaks again, the idea that he could have lost Ethan today bringing him to his knees as he pleads his case.

Ethan let's out a small surprised gasp as Mark looks up at him, his hands resting comfortably on his hips.

"I'm not a begging man, but I'm on my _knees_ now, _begging_ you to come talk to me if you ever feel this way again." He isn't ashamed when he feels a few more tears follow the others that came before. 

Ethan lets himself drop right in front of Mark, nodding before wrapping his arms around his neck. "I'm sorry. _I'm so, so sorry._ " 

Mark cradles him, pulling him tightly against himself, wanting him as close as physically possible. 

"It's okay, it's all gonna be okay." He gently shushes Ethan's apologies, "It's okay. We're okay. I love you so much Ethan."

Ethan shudders in his arms, whispering a quiet _'I love you too'_ against Mark's ear. 

Mark grins, pulling back enough to catch Ethan's eye, "You wanna know why we're gonna be okay?"

Ethan hums, head tilting slightly in confusion as he starts to wipe at his own face.

Mark smiles, really, _truly_ smiles, and with a playful lilt to his voice, he chuckles a quiet, "It's because we have each other."

Ethan pretends his heart doesn't flutter giddily at that as he shoves Mark away. 

He uses the collar of Mark's shirt to reel him back in for a loving kiss. 

**Author's Note:**

> as always, i absolutely adore their girlfriends, i would die for both mika and amy. lowkey highkey they have my whole ass heart
> 
> i don't even know a mark or ethan as soon as you bring up amy and mika 
> 
> anyways love ya guys, thanks for putting up with my writing as per usual 
> 
> stay safe and wash your hands my loves!!


End file.
